Beltane is the day after tomorrow, used to be a major sabbat for me, I used to look forward to it all year as the time to celebrate the awakening of the earth. Back in Toronto we used to wake up before the sun and make our way to High Park to watch the Morris Dancer’s dance up the sun, then we would all go for a big greasy breakfast followed by a lovely afternoon nap. Since Evan died, my faith in God and my desire to do anything remotely spiritual has just died off, I am so hurt and devastated and bitter that it makes it hard for me to feel ok with his death, or ok with the God’s decision to do this to me. It’s hard, when I see the buds on the tree’s about to pop open with life, I just think of my own empty womb and deceased son. I miss him so much it hurts.

Oh well, Beltane falls on a Thursday this year anyways and I will be facilitating a workshop from 9am-4pm that day so I couldn’t the dancers and breakfast thing anyhow. I don’t think we even have Morris dancers here in Halifax which is ironic being the size of the British and Celtic population.