My momma went to see a local psychic lady tonight, she had heard from co-workers that this lady was amazing. The first thing the lady said to her, before she said a word was your daughter is going to be fine. She is going to have another baby and both of them will be fine. My mom said she was taken aback because she does not know this lady and did not mention me at all. She then went on to get my mom’s entire current reality down pat, right down to saying my Step Dad ( I call him my dad, cause he has been my entire life, my biological dad was absentee and died several years ago). who just left her high and dry, is very depressed, he knows he made the wrong decision but he also knows he can’t go back and he can’t find happiness anywhere. That the new guy courting my mom is madly in love with her and intends to stick around for the long haul. Also that my mom is a very sad and lonely women in her core, that she feels so alone in the world and that she can’t rely on anyone but herself. (It’s true, she has had it worse then me I think, or at least equals in the bad things magnet department) She is the sweetest most caring person I know, she is beautiful, she deserves to be loved, but she keeps being betrayed. My dad left her with two small kids when we were 2 and 4, then she met my stepdad when I was 6, 6 years later then I was 12 they got married, 20 years later he leaves her for another women. A women who’s only flaw is being to good to her men, putting her own needs and wants in second place. The new guy I approve of, he is very caring and sweet to her, it’s about time, she has earned it.
My whole damn family deserved a turn of good karma. We tragic few, betrayed by the world, our innocence ripped away, we suffer the misery of the world with only each other to lean on.
Thinking of you Mom, Anette, Roger, Tyler, Dave, Satara and Evan, our lives have been ripped to shreds despite our non deservingness of it all…….Love you all and I think of you all day, every day, and my heart just won’t mend.
Things have got to get better, or I might just extinguish, just poof, what little light is left gone. I just keep saying it will get better, That is what keeps me going. Bring on the babies.. Does this make me bi polar, sometimes I feel bi polar.
